December 2011
If you’re leaving stupid shit in my ask box then unfollow me right now before I fucking track you down and blow your god damn head off. No one is going to talk to me like that, cowardly bastards.
1 tag
The other day I was at Manchester pub with MK and Shelby, trying to recover from our hangovers, when an old scottish man who was there watching the soccer game approached our booth. He then spent the next half an hour trying to convince us to fuck him, saying things like, “I may be 70, but I can still get it up” and “I used to be a real looker back in the day” and “I...
Fun facts about my apartment building:
Someone was burned alive in the basement and a girl was raped and murdered.
And that’s just what I’ve gathered from being here for the short time I’ve been here. My building was built before 1926.
GIMME A OUIJA BOARD, NOW.
1 tag
Watchammieable:
professional-princess:
What Are You Doing New Years Eve? by Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Ben Gibbard is crying himself to sleep right now.
Oh my god, no way are they this cute.
Coffee and Lady Gaga and forcing my kitten to dance with me.
Coffee and Lady Gaga and forcing my kitten to dance with me.
COFFEE AND LADY GAGA AND FORCING MY KITTEN TO DANCE WITH ME.
1 tag
“Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For...”
– Dorothy Parker, “The Flaw in Paganism”
For the New Year.
(via no—feelings)
You’re the one that said goodbye. So you can take that litte pathetic guilt trip and shove it up your god damn ass.
As if I owe you a fucking thing.
Jesus christ, I hate the human race and especially ex girlfriends. We’re all fucking disgusting squirming flesh bags that feed from and ooze shit. It’d be so cool if the world ended tomorrow.
1 tag
2 tags
It’s eight in the morning and my day is already ruined. I just want to curl up and not wake up for a long, long time.
I just don’t get why murder is so frowned upon.
Oh my god, guys, get me off of tumblr. I just realized how drunk I’m getting.
Anonymous asked: So no one ever has a chance at getting really close with you since you hate everyone?
I’ve been drinking caesars and wine and smokin’ weed since I woke up today.
My life can be pretty alright sometimes.
female-secretions asked: dude, I just read your post about getting into a fight last night and I think it's cool on many levels. I think it's really cool that you had the nerve to stand up to some big guy who disrespected you and your girlfriend because a lot of people think girls stand up to guys and vice versa or a lot of people are afraid to fight someone bigger than them but you disregarded that and...
Anonymous asked: so does ur girlfriend have a Canadian accent?
Anonymous asked: When I read about Alaska Young, you're who I see.
Like, I hate everyone. I don’t discriminate.
Anonymous asked: No, you just kept mentioning the fact that the guy was black. And its just like... okay, what difference does that make? Why do you even need to specify what color his skin was? you could have just said "a guy" or "a big douchebag". something along those lines.
Anonymous asked: does your experience with that guy and the fight make you hate black people?
Anonymous asked: So what happened last night with the fight?
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
1 tag
Like I may have a concussion. But it’s alright cause I got some good fuckin’ hits in.
I just got in a fight with a 300 pound black dude and almost got arrested and deported.
Okay.
My girlfriend is playing video games in nothing but her undies.
How
did
I
land
this
one?
Anonymous asked: you try to hard to be "cool"
Let’s just get really drunk and listen to The Cramps and the Sex Pistols and be loud and jump on the furniture and give ourselves tattoos, yeah?
1 tag
After watching the movie Sid & Nancy, I’ve realized that my girlfriend and I are just a slightly less destructive, drug addicted, and straight version of them.
It’s HILARIOUS. But we won’t kill each other, I promise.
