So I had a psychotic meltdown last night and started breaking things with a hockey stick and yelling and being the biggest bitch in the whole world to my girlfriend. I even grabbed her and shook her ‘cause I was that crazy. So when I realized what a grade a cunt steak I was being, I told her to punch me and she wouldn’t so I pushed her and pushed her and pushed her until she clocked me in the head. Then I high fived her and we had an amazing night. 

THIS IS HOW PROBLEMS GET SOLVED IN MY HOUSE.