Find a flask, we're playing fast and loose.

I’m going on a 15 mile bike ride with the Alameda Bicycle tonight. Wahooooooooo, WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?

>:)

I like beer a lot lot and I don’t have to work for the next two days which I’m actually bummed about because I’m broke and don’t have anything else to do TBH

I’m obsessed with these lil’ dudes.

I was bored, so. I’ll probably go over it later after I get a couple of brews in me. These are so funnnn. #stickandpoke

I dress super girly/nice~ for work and then I come home and immediately throw my beanie on and my cut off shirt DYKE MODE ACTIVATE. One of my coworkers hates me because she’s one of those ocd bitches who just seems like a generally angry person and I cut myself while taking the pit out of an avocado today and accidentally ended up throwing the pit at her YES. Also I make fart noises with my mouth all day at work and I hope my coworkers don’t actually think I’m pooting omg 

I want u 2 want me i need u 2 need me 

I’M BEGGING U 2 BEG ME WOW WHY AM I CRYING NOW

I am by the water side watching two ducks snuggle and my life is great.

I like butts. I like ur butt I like my butt I like butts. My butt is getting awesome since I’ve been workin’ out yeh butts.

l o l I h8 myself 👽💩👽

r u fckn srs

Bringing this back because he was the greatest of photo bombers.